I read a lot of lithub. It's where I go when I miss literary analysis for literary analysis' sake. 

It's also where I go to remind myself that writing is a process. Some articles fall into grammatical technicalities of the craft (like this one on semi-colons in Garth Greenwell's Cleanness, or this one on Lauren Groff's ability to create action without verbs). Others speak to the heartache and tenacity needed to survive your dreams of authorship (like the challenge that comes from writing about your own family in this article or a reflective piece about what  running an MFA-bro parody twitter can teach you).

But nevertheless, lithub reminds me that writing is a craft. One that demands drafts that require redrafts that likewise need revision, beta-readers, editing, and the works. Worst (best?) of all? Writing  relies on  creativity as process and craft. 

So many people think creativity is an inborn trait, that all we need to master is our command of grammar, and to push through writer's blocks because our creativity is ~innate~. But just like the analysis required of algebra, creativity is a skill that needs flexing.

As an amateur artist (and I use the word amateur here lovingly), I know to stretch my hand before starting a larger project. In drawing, painting, etc. there's the need to throw some sketches out first then get to the gritty. In a way, I'd compare this less to first novel drafts and more to writing for the sake of writing.

Here's the thing:

Not everything needs to be published.

Sure--that much I learned from my 40-week writing challenge (which you can read about here).
But take notes. Make observations. Try to detail them as exact and vivid as possible. I'd done these things in my own way, though never kept them compiled in a notepad. Instead, my notes just hopped from phone to phone, save for the years I wrote observations on my childhood desk.

​So whatever your own challenge may be--40-week prompts, fanfiction drabbles, character sketches for the next great American novel--take 10 minutes a day to just write for the sake of word-making. (Yeah! Word-Making! Not even storytelling!) Write a sentence that indulges you, that most editors would snuff as pretentious or tell you is a bit of sentimental drivel.

A short post to give an even shorter update on my writing:

After grappling with the most pessimistic of my doom and gloom writer's anxiety, I've decided to put off looking at publishing. 

...well...for now at least.

Of course I'd love to see Marry the Moon as a beautiful hardcopy or a well-worn softcover. I've pictured that illustration and can still see the sketches I'd lovingly drawn. Of course I'll never stop working and finessing Children of the Apocalypse--heck! I had a skype call with my illustrators this morning! Of course I'll keep toying with my more complex fairy-tale, Library of Untold Stories, all the ideas I'm pushing around in my head as I quietly research and accumulate info. Of course I want to write that book about Cyprus. About my family.
 
But the anxiety of trying to get published took something from me, and I need to get it back in the most authentic way I can.

So here's to 40 weeks of writing prompts. I can make them standalone pieces, fanfiction one-shots or mini-series, scenes for my characters that may or may not make it into final manuscripts.

40 weeks of falling in love with my voice again (no matter how vain that sounds). 40 weeks, the remainder of this year. It sorta fits into my New Year's resolutions, doesn't it though?

Create Art For Myself
         As any creative will tell you, it's daunting to post our work in a public forum of any kind. Even more so when we don't  get responses and feel antsy about our skill level. Essentially, though, I want to return to creating art for the sake of art.  Art for myself, and finding value in that.

Below the cut, you'll find two different lists of prompts since I want to have options if a particular concept doesn't sit with me right. I've started this week's, and I hope to add my drawings back into the mix, too.  Now the only question remains....where will I post them?  👀 (chances are fanfiction will go to Tumblr and all other pieces will stay private). Anyway...without further ado...

Writing isn't easy. If we talk about craft alone, then there are the usual frustrations. Plot-holes, weak characterization, melodramatic voice, stilted dialogue. 

But emotionally.
It isn't easy.

I sometimes wish I was young again, staying up late to read and write fanfiction. I didn't get a lot of readers on my one-shots, but I churned out more and more and wrote AUs and enemies-to-lovers and roommates/soulmates and self-insert and...and...

Of course...I also wrote my own fiction. Eva being the first character I can remember as authentically my own. I can still picture her. Bobbed hair, green dress, perpetually skinned knees from kickball in the sandlot next to the orphanage. She was fierce, protective, brash. I didn't have those words to describe her, being about six years old after all, but that's who I'd wanted her to be. When the inspiration for Eva's story pattered out, it was Sandris next, a dust-covered girl living in a fictional desert. Then after Sandris it was Giseline, and Kara, and back to fanfiction, and then--finally--Alpha. Laurie, James, Carmen, Donovan, Edelina, and Phin. These characters who I now shower with my own fierce, brash protection. (Thank you, Eva, for teaching me how.)

And then I took a break from them when my life fell apart in 2017. I turned to such self-indulgent writing that, ultimately, I know is worth more than a brief stint in publishing.

Eat Stars and Marry the Moon. 
Arguably, this manuscript saved my life...and it's okay if literary agents or publishers don't care about that.

Moving to Korea meant downsizing. I couldn't bring the 400+ books from off my bedroom shelves. Instead, I packed my Nook and scouted out the bookstores Busan had to offer me.

​The past three months have therefore been a hodge-podge of reading material. From children's lit to the forgotten softcovers in Aladdin's used bookstore, here are a few titles I've explored as of late...

The quest to figure out my photography style continues! I definitely went with less than my usual amount of saturation in this batch and also tried shooting a lot more portrait/human subjects. I think next month I'm going to make composition my focus 'cause I've been pretty crappy with that lately...

And when it comes to photo editing...well...I've been having fun with the ASSthetics project my friends and I have created haha

Only halfway through March, but I've gotten a lot more practice with the DSLR. I know I said I wanted to try and steer clear of overly saturated images, and yet...

All of these photos are from my recent trip to Barbados, which you can read about here. I just wanted a space to save these images, so without any further ado...

Dear Writer's Block,
           Would it be a cliche if I said 'screw you'? 

As any aspiring novelist will find out, there are a lot of rules in writing--and I'm not talking about grammar. If you were to google "how to write" you'd eventually come across nifty little lists with titles like "Top 10 Things a Writer Should Never Do" or "50 Writing Mistakes That Weaken Your Novel, Will Never Get You Published, And Leave You Wallowing In Artistic Depression." These tips are often so overly specific you'd think the author had taken an email from their own editor and transcribed it into a blog post; or the advice is so abstract you'd think it was a featured workshop from GuyInYourMFA. 

Of course, there's some good advice, universal advice even. But sometimes well-meaning advice just leaves you stuck, frozen.

Scared.

Like every other basic-white-girl with an Instagram, I like taking photos. I'm bad at the hashtags part, but catch me outside scaling a tree for the perfect shot. In high school, I made all my friends model for my ~*~artsy~*~ photos that were inevitably murdered by an over-dependence on filters and stickers. I got a few decent shots along the way, my favorites coming from my mother's old film camera. Around college I dropped the hobby, only trying for those gorgeous photos when I went to New Zealand. Actually, what with New Zealand, California, Switzerland, Greece, Cyprus, and Turkey, 2015 had been a good year in photos. I experimented with my basic digital camera and smart-phone until I had enough pictures of mountains and trees and far-off cities to treat my wanderlust the following semester. 

It'd been a while since I've picked up a camera even to photograph things for myself. I've got a new DSLR though--my first--and discovering photography as a means of expression has been a lot of fun so far. In both traditional and digital painting I enjoy playing with colors; this preference of mine definitely transferred into my picture-taking, as you can see above. I know that in the past I tried to make my photos' colors as vibrant as possible, and I think a challenge for my photography is to not rely so much on stark contrast the way I do for my paintings.

Anyway, I'll let the rambling stop short.

​Here are a few photos I've taken just as practice. I don't have any stunning cliff-sides or mountain peaks to document, but I guess these are a bit more my everyday life...